Thank you Apple, for maintaining your stellar reputation in customer service. I knew you could do it! A couple of weeks ago I shared a rambling tale about how my local laundromat had taken Apple to the cleaners in the customer service department. While my laundromat’s sterling reputation remains intact, I’m happy to say that Apple has reversed their temporary shortfall, at least in my world. And in the process done something I’m always talking about regarding service.

I’ve always argued that simply “doing it right” is not actually the way to build the strongest customer engagement. Most of us EXPECT it to be done right; after all, if someone goes into business to do something, why would they do anything else? I learned this while in restaurant management years ago. Most happy customers say little more than hello and goodbye, and even when you leave comment cards on the table, the most detailed feedback comes from those who had a PROBLEM, not those who had a reliable and positive experience.

The pro-active and positive strategy obviously then is to try to make things EXCEPTIONAL for the customer. Kind of a no-brainer, but also a real challenge to maintain on a day-to-day basis. But if you’ve been in business awhile, you know that the most devoted customers you have are those who actually had a BAD experience, but then had it resolved. It’s a huge trust-builder, and the customer really develops emotional anchors around the experience that make them more like an ally than a customer. This isn’t mere speculation; the idea is backed up by research.

Apple seems to focus very well on that “exceptional” notion from the get-go, by creating remarkable, must-have products that people didn’t even know they needed. And their products are so darn reliable that you really don’t hear much about how they handle problem resolution, you just assume that the one-to-one “genius to customer” ratio you see at any random Apple Store just means it’s all being taken care of. Which is why my little problem was such a shocker, and why – after our little bump – Apple has a new long-term convert.

The short version of the story is that I was slowly becoming an Apple convert thanks to my beloved black MacBook, and just as I was preparing to make some major hardware purchases – which probably all would have been Apple products – I had a major snag with the most basic level of customer service surrounding a known issue with the battery in my MacBook. The service failure was simple in one way, but frankly epic in another. I already outlined it in the previous piece.

But Apple fixed it. How? Well, first I emailed the Apple Store team, Cc-ing Tim Cook, the CEO. I didn’t get a heartfelt response from Mr. Cook or anything, in fact I didn’t get ANYTHING for nearly a week. But then I got an email from the store’s team leader, asking for my phone number so he could call to address the problem. And then we spoke the next day. I joked about not hearing back from the CEO, but he quipped “well I sure did”, and from there he did a fantastic job of addressing my concerns in a genuine, non-patronizing fashion. Which happened to involve replacing the problem battery, and offering to do some quick diagnostics to make sure it hadn’t caused any damage.

Suddenly, this cold and cocky corporation that I loathed was HUMAN again, and I was happy as a clam. How hard was that? Not very, and Apple did it just right. So right that I’m preparing to make nearly ten grand in hardware purchases with them, purchases which could just as easily have gone to the less-expensive, and less prestigious competitor. And almost did. What do I mean by “doing it right”? They addressed the problem thoroughly and directly, with people-driven earnestness, and without making the frustrated customer jump through hoops.

How many times have you had the experience of a waitperson or clerk feeling compelled to make excuses, elaborate explanations, or perhaps even questioning your honesty when you have a simple, legitimate gripe? Probably a lot. What a lot of business owners overlook is the short term cost of making one customer happy vs making that customer unhappy. Maybe you’ve heard of Pete Blackshaw’s book Satisfied Customers Tell Three Friends, Angry Customers Tell 3,000. Or maybe not, but those in the know realize that the one giveaway that seems like a losing move is actually the WINNINGEST move you can make. The damage that can be done by that one negative voice has a much more tremendous ripple effect than any positive voice, mostly because that angry person screams and rants, and often STAYS angry,

That’s where Apple came through; they acknowledged the problem, and FIXED it, with no fuss, and no platitudes. In this case giving me a free replacement battery for a device that was well out of warranty. A very generous gesture on one hand, but at the probable cost of about 60 bucks versus the outcome of losing thousands in revenue later, a sensible “investment”.

Apple gets the added benefit that I’m not the kind of person who only rants about negative stuff, I rant even MORE about positive stuff.

Thank you Apple, you rock.

UPDATE: Apple completely turned this experience around, and turned me into a new loyal customer. See the followup HERE

Last week, I happened to be perusing the book 212 Service: The 10 Rules for Creating a Service Culture, when I coincidentally had back-to-back service experiences that highlighted one of the most crucial aspects of service. Which aspect am I referring to? Concern. You can write books, attend seminars, create training programs, and share theories about customer service ’til the cows come home (which they will, if you show them enough concern) but if – at that magic brief moment of contact you don’t have a human or at least a mechanism in place that says “we care, and we’re going to try to help you”, you’re screwed. You may as well ignore customer service altogether. Let me use my recent personal experience to demonstrate what I mean.

My Gran Prix du Laundry

I use this local laundromat to do my laundry. It’s pricier than doing it at home, but way cheaper than sending it out. Being able to do six loads at once saves me about 8 hours every time I do laundry, so it’s well worth it. And I’m lucky, because the local laundromat I use – Mr. Stadium, for the record – is clean, well maintained, and HUGE. They also have wi-fi if I need to squeeze in some work! So this past week I’m jamming on my laundry routine (I have this down to a precise science, like a precision racing team) and about halfway through, I pull a black comforter out of the industrial size wash to move it to the dryer. I notice a slight soap smudge on one corner, but it easily wipes off, so I continue with my assembly-line-like process. As I start shifting all the other loads to the dryer, I go the dryer that the comforter is in to rotate it so that it will dry faster, and am a little flustered to find that it is entirely covered with a subtle soapy film. This could be catastrophic! My entire 75 minute Gran Prix du Laundry may come to a screeching halt as this unexpected problem throws me a yellow flag.

The Pit Stop

I have to point out that about 75% of my laundry is black, so I’m a little concerned. This little soap problem happens often, but is usually minor. But this is an expensive comforter, and it’s BIG. So I take it over to the counter, and the nice but reserved lady gives me a subtle “oh boy, here comes a complainer” kind of look. This worries me slightly, but I politely explain the problem. She looks it over, sighs, and says “lemme go get the manager”. A minute later the guy comes out. He doesn’t look excited; who knows, maybe he was in the back room trading commodities and my timing was bad. But he takes a look and says “Well, we can take care of this. Do you want to leave it and pick it up later? No charge?” He picks up on my “OH MY GOD NO CAN WE DO THIS NOW MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING” look and says “Or we can just take care of it right now”. A wave of relief passes over me. This is too easy. I say “that would be GREAT if we could do it now”, and without saying much he heads over to a machine to get to work on it. I go back to my routine, glancing over occasionally to see the guy diligently and methodically DOING MY LAUNDRY. How cool is that? While he’s waiting for the first cycle, he comes over to give me an update, and we strike up a conversation about the importance of customer service, and how it’s probably going to make a comeback in today’s tough economy. It’s easy to stay in business when times are good, even if your customer service is crap. But in tough times, it can make or break a business. He shares a story about how he took over a neglected laundromat in a nearby town that was taking in 200 dollars a day, and turned that into 1800 dollars a day. Without changing anything except the service attitude. I leave the laundromat 10 minutes behind schedule, and ecstatic. I will give this guy more advertising (for free!) in the next few months than he probably got all last year. Not that he seems to need it. But wow, what a great feeling to know there are still business people out there that genuinely care.

Apple Redefines the Word “Genius”

So the next day, I notice that my beloved black MacBook has an unusual problem. A few days earlier, I had noticed that it wasn’t resting evenly as I worked at a cafe, but didn’t think much of it, figuring it was the table. But as I headed out for a meeting now a couple of days later, I noticed that the battery cover on the bottom seemed to have popped slightly out of place. I made a little adjustment, and things were okay. Or so I thought. By the end of the day, the battery was bulging like my MacBook was with MacChild. Personally, I’d be ecstatic to have a Mac Mini, but I know this isn’t how they come into the world. So I do a little looking around on some Mac forums, and it turns out that this was a not entirely uncommon manufacturing flaw. People posting on the forums shared a wide variety of results, but there seems to be a random willingness on the part of “Genius Bar” employees to replace them at no cost. So I head to the local Apple store. They look a little busy when I arrive, but I see a clerk-to-customer ratio of 1:1 or better. There are easily ten “Geniuses” on the clock. So the greeter distractedly greets me as he mutters into his earpiece and taps into his iPad, simultaneously asking me what I need. The guy does a really excellent impression of stock broker engaged in trades while acting like he cares what you’re saying, but I figure they’re busy, so I don’t actually get put off by his detached indifference. Besides, this is THE APPLE STORE. I’ve heard nothing but great things about Apple support. Besides, a minute later, he waves me back into the store.

Genuine Genius Requires An Appointment

So the Genius Guy greets me and asks what the problem is. I pull out my MacBook while explaining the problem, and his eyes widen as he sees how badly the battery is bulging. We agree that it would be surprising if this weren’t doing damage to the internals. He steps away for a moment, and comes back with a boxed battery, without saying much, except that the battery costs $129.00. I point out that I’m not keen on dropping over 100 bucks on what I consider manufacturing flaw that probably warranted a recall that Apple never issued. He says that I have to make an appointment. I think it’s odd that I’m surrounded by Customer Service Geniuses but have to make an appointment, but whatever. I understand that maybe this is now going to be considered more like a repair issue. I ask him if that appointment might be today. He checks his iDevice, and says “I can get you in at 5pm”. That’s 18 minutes from the current time, which was the first ding in the service, from my point of view. He doesn’t suggest anything will actually be accomplished at that point, and I’m being told – while I’m ALREADY being helped – that I have to make an appointment 18 minutes away. I make the appointment, figuring I’ll run a quick errand.

Preliminary Dis-Appointment

I come back for my appointment at exactly 4:58pm. My stockbroker friend that’s doubling as a greeter for Apple doesn’t acknowledge me for three minutes. Yes, I’m timing things at this point. All he was doing was waiting to get a response on a clerk being ready to help the couple ahead of me, a couple to whom he had already spoken. He acknowledges my presence at 5:02. I wait eight minutes, and then attempt to let him know that I can’t wait any longer. He is so inattentive that I finally just walk away. Not fuming or anything, but definitely a bit miffed at the weird 30 minutes of my day that I spent doing pretty much nothing.

Email Novellas and Genuine Disappointment Contempt

So that evening, I decide to follow up in a simple way. A message from the “Apple Store Team” awaits me in my inbox. I elect to reply to it with a 900-word email, politely explaining my experience. In an attempt to reach someone I think might actually care, I Cc the message to Apple CEO Tim Cook. Can you guess what happened next? Nothing. I got an automated reply from “the team” with links to things that are supposed to solve all my problems. No surprise there. And I honestly don’t expect a busy CEO like Tim Cook to reply to my emails, right? WRONG. I find it stunning that a high-salary CEO that has literally thousands of employees in his service doesn’t have a team devoted to exactly this kind of message. I don’t expect Mr. Cook to coddle me, but really. Apple is one of the most profitable and cash-rich corporations in the world.

Apples, Oranges, and Ice Cream Sandwiches

So where does this leave me? It leaves me ready to reconsider close to ten thousand dollars in hardware purchases. As I pointed out in my lengthy email that sailed into the abyss, I’ve been comparing tablets, smartphones, and desktops, since most of my devices are at or near the end of their service cycles. And you know what? That DROID RAZR is looking pretty hot compared to the iPhone, and likewise with the Samsung Galaxy Tab and the ASUS Transformer Prime as alternatives to the iPad. And when I look at the cost and serviceability of non-Apple desktops, I start to remember the reason I’ve always resisted making the switch, no matter HOW much I love the Apple design asthetic and quality engineering.

It’s Not About Money At All

So what’s the lesson here? Customer service really boils down to emotion. The fact that the guy at the laundromat gave me five bucks worth of service and a clean comforter were secondary to the fact that he CARED. And that he showed it. And Apple? If I don’t hear something from somebody in the next few days, there’s a good chance they’ll lose ten grand of business over a hundred bucks and some robotic human interaction. If any one of the dozen fellows in that Apple Store had so much as ACTED like they cared, I might have buckled and ponied up for the battery at full price. But now I just may stop being a “switch” customer, AND demand my replacement battery. And frankly, every time I look at my MacBook now, I feel a subtle contempt. It also feels a lot heavier than it used to for some reason.

Over the last couple of years, I watched nearly identical tragic romances unfold, and having a window on these two relationships reminded me not only of the immense influence of guilt on some people’s decision making, but the amazing absence of guilt that some people may feel in nearly identical circumstances. These “tragic romances” I’m referring to were fairly common stories of marriages in which the woman believed the man had become emotionally or sensually vacant, tried to address the problem, and then, out of frustration, turned to infidelity to find the attention they craved.

The woman in one of these relationships expressed very little guilt about her actions, and moved on to get divorced. In the other instance however, the woman apparently felt enough guilt that she eventually rejected a man she had told repeatedly for several years that she loved, and returned to the psychologically abusive relationship with her husband. It was the latter situation that struck me more; as this friend sobbed about the dual guilt of hurting one man to return to the one she had cheated on, I did my best to encourage her to do what she thought was right, and suggested that while it was alright to feel badly about doing something one knows is “wrong”, it’s literally toxic to ourselves to dwell in the guilt. I suggested that once she had acknowledged to herself some wrongdoing, that she “shed that shroud of guilt” and move on.

There’s a remarkable range of things a person probably should feel guilty about, but I can’t help noticing the widely disparate manifestations of guilt or lack thereof that we encounter in modern life. The other day, I was talking to a fellow whose wages were being garnished because of a student loan that was in default, and I asked him how he would feel about mass protest to dismiss or defer student debt. He said he wouldn’t support it. I asked him why – in light of the fact that bankers and politicians were dumping the debt for their financial failures on current and future generations of taxpayers through bailouts – he wouldn’t demand a reciprocal arrangement. He said that what they did was wrong, but that didn’t mean he didn’t owe the debt he had taken on.

That pretty effectively sums up the poles of the range of human responses to feeling guilt over wrongdoing right there. Regardless of the fact that a person may be able or likely to find rationalizations for wrongdoing (especially if the rewards are high enough, as with emotion or riches), there is one kind of person who will feel genuine guilt whether or not they get caught, and another kind of person who will NOT feel genuine guilt whether they get caught or not.

If you’re in the latter camp, I’m not sure why you’re reading this; there’s a decent chance that you’re mildly sociopathic! But if you’re like most of us, you may find yourself in situations where guilt gnaws at you for a variety of reasons. While guilt serves a perfectly positive purpose – it’s our own negative reinforcement for behaviors that don’t benefit us – it can also be a poison that dwells within us, and eventually destroys us.

In the simplest view, there are really only two kinds of guilt. Guilt about something you did, or guilt about something you didn’t do. They can both be incredibly self-destructive, and they can both be fairly easily dealt with, once you identify lingering guilt as the little monster that it is. But that’s probably the real problem. Many people don’t even REALIZE they’re driven by guilt. Are you? Do you fret about how you could have done a better job on something at work? About how you don’t spend enough quality time with your family? Those are both just as likely to be forms of perfectionism, which is another issue worth looking at. Do you feel guilt about how you broke little Jane or Johnny’s heart in college, or the friend you jilted at some point in the past? The first two items aren’t really that hard to deal with. It’s simple as CHANGING YOUR BEHAVIOR. Do better next time at work, learning from the mistakes you made. Spend more time with the family! How hard is that? And the latter two things can end up being almost comical once one takes the right steps toward addressing them. Quite often, when we go to repair this kind of guilt by reaching out to make amends, we discover that the person we thought we had harmed cares so little that they barely remember who we are! Sometimes guilty obsessions can honestly be that out of proportion with reality. The guilt factory in our head can be quite productive.

The strategy for minimizing guilt in your life is actually pretty damn simple. Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t fear. Communicate! Things like the infidelity I mentioned at the top arise from one’s fear of the confrontation one thinks will result from expressing one’s true feelings. Telling someone what you think will almost never have results as negative as those that come from subterfuge, deceit, and avoiding the facts.

Dealing with persistent guilt has other solutions, but they all center around self-forgiveness. If you’ve done your best to make amends or change your behavior, and are still feeling guilt, there are several things that can help you. One is simply time. While a confession or making an amend can sometimes provide instant, almost magical relief, sometimes we just need to process and heal. Another is obviously therapy. Talk therapy can really help us hear the fallacy of our own thoughts, and free us to move on. And if you have faith or a spiritual side, ponder the fact that while bringing your problem to a church figure may actually AGGRAVATE the problem, since guilt is one of the key tools of many religious organizations, the PRINCIPLES of your faith may provide an incredibly easy answer. Most faiths and spiritual practices have something devoted especially to release from guilt. Think of the entire purpose of a figure like Jesus, for instance, who – if you believe the teachings – was sent here to free us from our human flaws, partly by acknowledging that we all have them!

It may just be time to shed that shroud of guilt you’re wearing.

It’s not very becoming.

And look at those wacky hands of yours, with that opposing thumb! How do you get all 27 of those bones to wiggle around cooperatively like that? I guess it’s some amazing combination of the light hitting your retinas and being transformed into images by the 100 billion neurons in your brain so that it can then make split-second muscular adjustments and decisions about what you choose to DO with them. I’m sure you’ll do something pretty amazing with them, because you’re  unbelievably awesome even when you’re just sitting still. Imagine how much MORE awesome you’ll be when you spring into action with the ideas in that brain. You’re AMAZING.

One way to look at diet is that eating for pleasure leads to lethargy, and eating tactically can lead to positive changes. If you’re struggling with motivation and depression, and you’ve eliminated any serious psychological or health problems as possible causes, consider trying this kind of eating for a week, and let us know what you think. Please consult a doctor before beginning any new dietary regimen. There are only 6 rules:

1. Eat more frequent, smaller meals, always including a little protein

2. Eat ample green vegetable with every meal (including breakfast!)

3. Drink at least 8 ounces of water every hour

4. Eat NO simple carbs (like sugar or processed flour)

5. Eat a wide variety of foods (fish, poultry, venison/vegetables/nuts/fruit), but not too much of any single food at a sitting

6. Cut out the alcohol and cut down the caffeine

Many of the “fat burning diets” take a similar approach, and if you’re inclined to follow a diet with a brand name, be our guest. In any case, pay attention to your energy level, your mood, and your productivity, and let us know if you notice any positive changes. We think you will!

I don’t mean that you have to work before you can go snowboarding – I think we all understand that we have to work before we can play, even if we don’t always like it. What I’m talking about is the idea that whatever you set out to do, there are going to be obstacles and delays on the way to success.

I ran into this the other day when I wanted to install base moldings in my new martial arts school. My architect wanted me to use plywood made from bamboo. It’s expensive, I really like it. But before I could nail the moldings into place, I had to order the plywood, receive it, cut it into strips, sand it, apply a finish, and cut it to length. The whole project took me four days, but actually installing the molding only took the last half of the last day.

Only 10% is the “good stuff”

If it sounds like I’m complaining, that’s because I am …. a little. But what I’m really trying to do is point out something that happens in virtually every significant activity, and that’s this: planning, preparation, and problems are often 90 percent of the projects we do. And if we ignore this truth, we’re doomed to be frustrated and often doomed to fail. On the flip side, if we recognize this at the start of a project, we’re much better prepared to move forward.

Three things you can do

Here are three things you can do to get ready for all the stuff that gets in the way of the things you want to do:

1. Hire a professional

2. Plan

3. Mentally prepare

Hire a professional

If you have the means to hire professionals, they are usually much better prepared to deal with the stuff that has to be done along the way. They have the tools, the knowledge, and the experience to either avoid the obstacles or deal with them along the way.

Of course, you still have to find the right person for the job, and if you aren’t aware of the obstacles that can arise in your project, you will probably underestimate how long it’s going to take him to get it done.

So, even if you do hire a professionals, you still have to plan and mentally prepare.

Plan … but not too much

It won’t surprise you when I say that planning means learning as much as you can about your task in advance, and figuring out the most efficient way to proceed. I’m a big advocate of planning, but if you read my other post on thewellnessaddict.com, you’ll know I’m a bigger advocate of taking action … BIG action. I know way too many people who never get started because they’re always working on their plans. So even though you should plan your projects, I think mental preparation is the single most important thing you can do to help you get through the stuff that gets in the way of the things you want to do.

Half of preparation is 100% mental

If you haven’t heard me say “attitude is everything,” then I haven’t said it often enough or loud enough. Attitude is everything!

Or almost everything. And attitude when starting new tasks can be really, really important. The most successful people I know are those who start projects with these attitudes: (1) they WILL succeed; (2) there WILL be problems, obstacles, and detours; and (3) they WILL persevere despite the problems, obstacles, and detours. Just going into a task with these three attitudes can make a huge difference in the outcome.

And in a funny way, mental preparation for the problems, pitfalls, and predicaments can be a very important part of planning. If you expect a problem and are prepared to deal with it, whatever it might be, you’ll be far better prepared and not nearly so discouraged by it.

So definitely dream about your desires. Dream big, and picture your goals clearly and in great detail. Then, when you know exactly what you want, think about where things can go wrong. That’s the stuff that’s going to get in the way of the things you want to do. Whatever you do, don’t let that stuff discourage you! You’ll get through it if you’ve planned and prepared, and you’ll be smiling at the other end.

People all over the world have picked up on Cole’s saying. It’s the title of a lot of blogs and personal development talks. Zig Ziglar used the saying in his motivational speeches, and you can find it in his books. One I think you ought to read, if you’re into personal development, is Embrace the Struggle: Living Life on Life’s Terms. The point of the saying is that, when life gets you down, you shouldn’t stay down. You’ve probably heard, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” In the martial arts world we say, “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

Anyway, with all due respect to these very accomplished guys, I don’t think the saying goes far enough. If you’ve spent as much time as I have studying the science of self-improvement, you probably realize that learning to recover from adversity is only the first step. If you want to become truly outstanding, you’ve got find a way to build personal evolution into your DNA.

So I’d change the saying to: “You don’t drown by falling in water, you drown by not getting out and learning to swim!”

Ups and downs are not just part of life, they are life. Once you’ve figured out a mindset or strategy for moving through adversity, like picking yourself up after you get by hard times, then you can start working on real accomplishment. And you don’t get it by doing the same things over and over. Like falling in the water and pulling yourself out! If you do, you’ll find yourself in the same situations over and over, and I don’t think that’s the formula for real personal achievement.

You see, every challenge has built into it the germ or seed of its own solution. “Hey,” you say, “last time I fell in the water I got out, and here I am, doing great!” But there’s an aspect of dealing with challenges that’s even more important, more profound, and probably far more life changing than just figuring out how to solve life’s immediate problems. If we think about it, each challenge can teach us the lessons we need for real, meaningful, lasting personal change.

The truth is, most of us ignore these lessons. It’s like we deliberately tune out the most profound lessons that life teaches us, virtually all the time. We suffer through some crisis, get our lives more or less back to normal, sit back and say, “whew, I’m glad that’s over,” and forget to change the fundamental behaviors or attitudes that got us into the crisis in the first place.

Now, that might be because taking the action called for by lesson is difficult, or involves some sacrifice, hard work, or change in our thinking, but it’s almost never impossible. I know this because there are always people out there who have learned the lesson we were supposed to learn. Let me give you an example.

After you fall into the water and pull yourself out a few times, even if you’re darn proud of figuring out how not to drown, you’re probably thinking, “darn it, isn’t there some other way to handle this?” And that little voice in your head might say, “hey, dummy! Stay out of the water.” And if you do that, you’re not going to fall in anymore.

But what if the water is where you really need to be? Maybe all the most exciting things are happening in the water. That’s where you learn the most, get the biggest reward, meet the coolest people. So you have a lot of motivation to get back in the water, you’re just tired of hauling yourself out. And if you look around next time you fall in, just before you pull yourself out, you pay attention to what all the other people are doing in there. They seem to be having a good time, you know, getting a lot done, making friends, learning a ton by staying in there for so long. So, you ask yourself, “what are they doing that I’m not doing?” And darn it, that voice in your head answers you again. “Hey slowpoke, they’re swimming!”

So, the point is, don’t just keep pulling yourself out, learn to swim! If you find something you absolutely, positively need to do, but you keep doing belly flops when you try it, don’t you think it’s time to do more than just pull yourself out? Look around and figure out what the really successful people are doing. Learn to do what they’re doing. And the surprising thing is, most of them are happy to give you some tips. And when you get good at swimming, you can go in the water anytime you want, and get all kinds of work done there.

Visualize your goal, plan your mission, and don’t just do something, DO SOMETHING!

The saying is “everything happens for a reason.”

People say it when something bad happens to them. Keith Miller was the guy being interviewed on NPR. He’d been a professional football player, and he’s now actually a very successful opera singer! That’s an extreme change, right? He had played for five years in the European and the Arena Football leagues, both of which no longer exist. When the leagues went out of business, he found himself without a job. He said he was a fan of opera, and he went on to study it and is now one of most celebrated bass-baritones on stage. He’s singing Madame Butterfly with the Washington National Opera.

What You Say Affects What You Think!

When Keith Miller said “everything happens for a reason,” he meant basically the same thing we mean when we say “when one door closes, another opens.” If we’re wired for success, we should re-write both of these phrases to get them out of the passive voice. We should say them this way:

“Everything doesn’t happen for a reason, I choose the reason.”

and:

“When one door closes, I open another.”

You Have Control When You Take Control

If we’re really going to excel in life, we need to stop thinking in terms of when something is going to happen to us, and start thinking in terms of making things happen. Which mindset you choose can make a gigantic difference to what you get in life. It made a difference of epic proportions in Keith Miller’s life, and that’s because he chose to make things happen. Here’s what he said, and if you get chance to read the whole interview, I recommend it, because he’s a very articulate guy and his story is a fascinating one. The show is in the NPR archives for March 2, 2011. Anyway, here’s what he said:

“It’s the one thing I’ve learned, is everything always happens for a reason You know, the biggest losses that we’ve suffered, I mean, in personal life, professional football, you know, when you lose something, you have to go back and diagnose. You’re more apt to go back and diagnose the things that you did wrong, what you can improve upon. And when things go well, you don’t really at the end of the night you know, you just say, oh well, you know, thanks, that was great. You don’t take the time to really assess.

“So you really need to have speed bumps in your life to kind of say, hey, what – you know, make some adjustments, fine tune things or just, you know, change the transmission completely.”

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

I don’t know if he’s studied success systems, but that’s a great way to explain the benefit of adversity in our lives. When bad things happen, we should reflect on what happened, consider whether we could have done something better or could do something better in the future, and then make adjustments to our actions. The adjustments may just be fine tuning, or we may need to completely change the transmission! It’s as though he’s been reading my journals. Look at steps three through seven from my last talk “Don’t Just Do Something, DO SOMETHING!”

3. Do something!

4. Pay attention to your results

5. Multiply your successes

6. Modify or discard your failures

7. Do something else!

You’re Not the Problem, Unless You ARE the Problem!

The people who fail, who don’t grow, are often people who, when they experience a failure, either keep doing the same things that caused the failure or simply stop trying. That leads to paralysis. Soon they feel like they can’t do anything, and that can lead to a pretty miserable life.

The people who succeed recognize that, as Zig Ziglar says, “failure is an event, not a person.” And how they think about that event makes all the difference in the world. They recognize that they can learn from failures.

When you try to do something great – that’s step three: Do something! – and you don’t succeed, you can  “go back and diagnose the things you did wrong” – that’s step four: Pay attention to your results. Steps five and six are what Keith called making “some adjustments, fine tune things or just …. change the transmission completely.”

Change Something, and Pay Attention!

What a great lesson! No wonder people who do really well say that it’s not about winning and losing. It’s about doing! If you DO SOMETHING with your goal clearly in mind, then the failures will be lessons clearly written out for you to modify your actions in the future. If we could go through life enthusiastically doing things without worrying about whether we instantly succeed or fail, think how much we could learn! What a great mindset to teach our children. “When one door closes, I open another.”

You know what, I’m going to go share this idea with my daughter right now. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason, you choose the reason. And if the reason is to teach you what you need to do to succeed, you can be as wildly successful as any human being can ever hope to be.

A Little About My Friend Ian

Now, before I share my ideas of how you can achieve success, I want to tell you a little about Ian. He’s a true friend of mine, and we’ve known each other for over 30 years. I get a little emotional talking about it, because we’ve been through some extraordinary experiences together. At one point, we formed a band together and wrote some really amazing songs. I remember getting some real interest from recording agencies. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look how our futures developed, Ian and I and the other members of the band had a lot of growing up to do at that time, and the band basically self-destructed.

Anyway, the reason I’m going on about Ian is that he’s one of greatest facilitators I know. What I mean is that he has a gift for bringing out the most creative, powerful parts of your personality. This gift comes from a life lived through a lot of adversity. He’s got a profound energy that has to be experienced to be appreciated, and if you ever get a chance to talk with him, I encourage you to do it!

Seven Key Principles of Achievement

So, back to our conversation about the key principles of achievement. I was very inspired by Ian’s leading questions, so I rattled off seven principles. Here’s what they were:

1. Clearly identify your goal

2. Learn the path others have taken to reach similar goals

3. Do something!

4. Pay attention to your results

5. Multiply your successes

6. Modify or discard your failures

7. Do something else!

If you follow success systems at all, you’re going to hear a lot of echoes in my talks of the big players in success coaching, like Napoleon Hill, Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Deepak Chopra, and others like them. That’s because over the past ten years, I’ve consumed massive amounts of their writings and teachings. I’ve compared what all the success leaders are saying to the wisdom of the ancient teachers of Asia, and found that they have a LOT in common. If you can afford it, I encourage you to go to seminars taught by these great motivators.

If you can’t afford it, go anyway!

My first choice for you, just because he’s the rock star of personal achievement right now, would be to attend a Tony Robbins seminar or read one his books, like Awaken the Giant Within!

Here’s the Point

So, after that long digression, let me get back to the one thing I really want to share with you today. I’m sure you’ve heard to the old expression, “Don’t just stand there, do something!” If you study leadership at all, you’ve probably heard of the book by Marvin Weisbord and Sandra Janoff called Don’t Just Do Something, Stand There!: Ten Principles for Leading Meetings That Matter. My suggestion to you is a little different. If you want to realize a goal, don’t just do something, DO SOMETHING! What I mean by that is that when you have a powerful idea, the most effective way to bring it into existence in the real world is to take action, take big action, and take it now!

Small Results Are Hard to Measure!

Small results are hard to measure. If you do something right, but it’s very, very small, you may need a microscope to figure out if it helped you get closer to your goal. But if you do something big, you’re going to know if it worked or not. And if it didn’t, you’ll be able to see what didn’t work about it.

Now, I’m not saying you should just willy nilly do something huge and crazy just to be doing something! You have to clearly identify your goal and learn what the path is that will take you there. I’ll share a lot more about these two steps in the future. But the point I want you to take away from today is that if you’ve clearly identified your goal and figured out the major steps needed to get there, you can work out some action to take to get you started. That’s the “something big” I encourage you to take on.

Ideas Have a Shelf Life

And, finally, do it now! Ideas have a shelf life. If you doubt me, go back and look at a newspaper or book from 30 years ago. It looks pretty quaint, doesn’t it? You don’t want your ideas to spoil because they’ve festered too long! Take the first opportunity to act, before doubts creep in, before technology leaves your idea behind, or before you get too caught up in your everyday life to work hard on the one thing that is really important to you.

So … if you want to realize your dreams … don’t just do something, get out there and DO SOMETHING!