All throughout history, humans have been fond of making lists of how to behave. The Ten Commandments, the Seven Deadly Sins, the Laws Of The Twelve Tables, or in modern times, that horrifying mass of documents known as “law”. Well, we all pretty much know by now that lying, stealing, cheating, and killing are bad; frankly, it’s just a lot of rationalization that makes them seem okay when conducting business. But in our day-to-day lives, we seem to have lost touch with some of the basics. Below are five simple suggestions for better modern living. Feel free to let us know if we missed anything.

Lose The F-Bomb

Sure, it makes you sound tough and indifferent to trivial problems, but maybe that’s the problem. This isn’t about being prudish. The F-Word has its place as a powerful punctuation for a heated remark, but it not only loses its impact when used repeatedly, it makes for rather inelegant expression. Besides, you kiss your mom with that mouth. And while you’re at it, why not lose damning people and things, and stop invoking the names of the underworld? If these words DON’T have metaphysical powers, why use them? They’re just inarticulate. And if they DO, well, enough said. Just be careful – you may invoke THE END OF DAYS by accident.

Put Yourself Second

We’ve had at least fifty years of pop psychology and consumer culture telling us that we – as individuals – are the most important thing in the world. Well, look where that has gotten us. We’re obese, have heart problems, waste millions of tons of food while half the world starves, and road rage is at an all-time high. And everybody is surly at the grocery store and the mall as they buy more stuff to fill their emptiness. Next time you’re at the checkout line, let the other person go first. Hold doors for people. At four-way stops, go last instead of edging in passive-aggressively. Next time you feel like ordering “pizza doubles”, bake your own SINGLE at home, and send the savings to a food charity.

Fight Over Who Pays

No, not the way most people do it, as in that awkward moment at the end of lunch when everyone busts out the calculators because they forgot to ask for separate checks. Next time just pay the whole darn thing. And if someone else pulls the same trick first, argue politely twice against it, it shows class. Arguing three times is just rude. You will be shocked by the revolution this creates amongst your dining companions. It also works at the theater, the ice cream parlor, the cafe, the ball game, and when playing golf, whether mini or life-size.

Say Excuse Me, Please, and Thank You

I can’t tell you how many times a day I see someone grunting and snorting on the sidewalk or in a store aisle because someone is blocking their path. It’s quite comical in a way, given the startled smile and courteousness one usually gets in response if they just try saying “excuse me”. Likewise with the ancient magic incantation “please”. It adds mystical power to the statement “I’d like a lowfat lowfoam double vanilla latte”. And when you say “thank you” as your request is granted, members of the Secret Cult of Please and Thank You will grant you an additional secret blessing of “you’re welcome”, letting you know you are welcome to do this all again some time.

Learn How To Use A Mobile Phone. Politely.

It’s amazing that technology has advanced sufficiently that you can call your kids at home from your base camp as you climb Mount Kilimanjaro using a device that fits in your shirt pocket. And it’s amazing that you’re smart enough to get a job that pays well enough to buy one of these incredible devices. Now maybe it’s time you got smart enough to use it in a civilized fashion. Some simple rules:

1.) Unless it’s your stockbroker calling in the middle of a market crash or your dying mother calling from her deathbed, don’t interrupt face-to-face conversations to take a call. And if you MUST glance at the phone to know who called, apologize to your physically present companion

2.) When dealing with checkout clerks, waiters, barristas, bartenders, delivery people, or anyone else who is merely trying to SERVE you, get off the phone, or put your caller on hold. Everyone will be happier. Perhaps most of all your friend who can’t figure out why you’re saying “how much” and “keep it”.

3.) Turn the darn thing off at the theater, the restaurant, the cafe, the funeral, the library, and anywhere else that people don’t want to hear a crappy robot version of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”. Failure to observe the RTFM Protocol (Read The Freakin’ Manual) is not a legitimate excuse. If you can figure out how to make a call, you can figure out how to turn the ringer off.

Bonus List:

Stand up and greet people when they join you at a restaurant or cafe

When you’re with a friend and run into someone they don’t know, INTRODUCE them.

Embrace people when greeting them, instead of offering the “white man handshake”

Say “hi” and smile at strangers. Maybe even say “how are you today?” or “Nice day, isn’t it?”

Over the last couple of years, I watched nearly identical tragic romances unfold, and having a window on these two relationships reminded me not only of the immense influence of guilt on some people’s decision making, but the amazing absence of guilt that some people may feel in nearly identical circumstances. These “tragic romances” I’m referring to were fairly common stories of marriages in which the woman believed the man had become emotionally or sensually vacant, tried to address the problem, and then, out of frustration, turned to infidelity to find the attention they craved.

The woman in one of these relationships expressed very little guilt about her actions, and moved on to get divorced. In the other instance however, the woman apparently felt enough guilt that she eventually rejected a man she had told repeatedly for several years that she loved, and returned to the psychologically abusive relationship with her husband. It was the latter situation that struck me more; as this friend sobbed about the dual guilt of hurting one man to return to the one she had cheated on, I did my best to encourage her to do what she thought was right, and suggested that while it was alright to feel badly about doing something one knows is “wrong”, it’s literally toxic to ourselves to dwell in the guilt. I suggested that once she had acknowledged to herself some wrongdoing, that she “shed that shroud of guilt” and move on.

There’s a remarkable range of things a person probably should feel guilty about, but I can’t help noticing the widely disparate manifestations of guilt or lack thereof that we encounter in modern life. The other day, I was talking to a fellow whose wages were being garnished because of a student loan that was in default, and I asked him how he would feel about mass protest to dismiss or defer student debt. He said he wouldn’t support it. I asked him why – in light of the fact that bankers and politicians were dumping the debt for their financial failures on current and future generations of taxpayers through bailouts – he wouldn’t demand a reciprocal arrangement. He said that what they did was wrong, but that didn’t mean he didn’t owe the debt he had taken on.

That pretty effectively sums up the poles of the range of human responses to feeling guilt over wrongdoing right there. Regardless of the fact that a person may be able or likely to find rationalizations for wrongdoing (especially if the rewards are high enough, as with emotion or riches), there is one kind of person who will feel genuine guilt whether or not they get caught, and another kind of person who will NOT feel genuine guilt whether they get caught or not.

If you’re in the latter camp, I’m not sure why you’re reading this; there’s a decent chance that you’re mildly sociopathic! But if you’re like most of us, you may find yourself in situations where guilt gnaws at you for a variety of reasons. While guilt serves a perfectly positive purpose – it’s our own negative reinforcement for behaviors that don’t benefit us – it can also be a poison that dwells within us, and eventually destroys us.

In the simplest view, there are really only two kinds of guilt. Guilt about something you did, or guilt about something you didn’t do. They can both be incredibly self-destructive, and they can both be fairly easily dealt with, once you identify lingering guilt as the little monster that it is. But that’s probably the real problem. Many people don’t even REALIZE they’re driven by guilt. Are you? Do you fret about how you could have done a better job on something at work? About how you don’t spend enough quality time with your family? Those are both just as likely to be forms of perfectionism, which is another issue worth looking at. Do you feel guilt about how you broke little Jane or Johnny’s heart in college, or the friend you jilted at some point in the past? The first two items aren’t really that hard to deal with. It’s simple as CHANGING YOUR BEHAVIOR. Do better next time at work, learning from the mistakes you made. Spend more time with the family! How hard is that? And the latter two things can end up being almost comical once one takes the right steps toward addressing them. Quite often, when we go to repair this kind of guilt by reaching out to make amends, we discover that the person we thought we had harmed cares so little that they barely remember who we are! Sometimes guilty obsessions can honestly be that out of proportion with reality. The guilt factory in our head can be quite productive.

The strategy for minimizing guilt in your life is actually pretty damn simple. Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t fear. Communicate! Things like the infidelity I mentioned at the top arise from one’s fear of the confrontation one thinks will result from expressing one’s true feelings. Telling someone what you think will almost never have results as negative as those that come from subterfuge, deceit, and avoiding the facts.

Dealing with persistent guilt has other solutions, but they all center around self-forgiveness. If you’ve done your best to make amends or change your behavior, and are still feeling guilt, there are several things that can help you. One is simply time. While a confession or making an amend can sometimes provide instant, almost magical relief, sometimes we just need to process and heal. Another is obviously therapy. Talk therapy can really help us hear the fallacy of our own thoughts, and free us to move on. And if you have faith or a spiritual side, ponder the fact that while bringing your problem to a church figure may actually AGGRAVATE the problem, since guilt is one of the key tools of many religious organizations, the PRINCIPLES of your faith may provide an incredibly easy answer. Most faiths and spiritual practices have something devoted especially to release from guilt. Think of the entire purpose of a figure like Jesus, for instance, who – if you believe the teachings – was sent here to free us from our human flaws, partly by acknowledging that we all have them!

It may just be time to shed that shroud of guilt you’re wearing.

It’s not very becoming.

Recently I had to face some uncomfortable facts. As someone who is working hard on creating a Personal Transformation System with my pal Nick, part of my goal is to help others be organized, focused, happy, successful, and motivated. But ironically, I suddenly found myself disorganized, unfocused, unhappy, and not feeling especially successful. At least I was still motivated! But what had happened?

Being Organized – The Map is not the Road

One of the little dangers of having a lot of organizational tools is that if you’re not careful, you spend more time working on planning than actually DOING things. I’ve always been alert to this; I’ve seen people spend weeks setting up software like ACT! and then using it for nothing more than storing contacts. Or setting up QuickBooks, and using it primarily as an invoice generator. Or loading up their smartphone with email functionality, and then never being able to find a message or attachment on their phone OR their computer.

Another thing you may run into once you do a lot of elaborate planning is that you probably have lots of deadlines – some of which affect each other, some of which don’t relate to others at all! Your head can quickly become a spaghetti bowl of overlapping timelines and goals, and leave you feeling more disorganized and plan-less than if you had never organized a plan! It’s like driving down the freeway with a bunch of maps on your lap, but not knowing what town you’re in.

Scope Creep and Product vs. Process – The Destination is not the Road Either!

If you have a “one widget business”, I envy you. Sometimes I’m tempted to chuck all my activities, and open a chocolate chip cookie shop. I know there’s a demand, I make a pretty mean chocolate chip cookie, and what could be more fun than baking cookies all day! Plus, you could make employee performance jokes with your staff constantly, like “whaddya want, a COOKIE?” But alas, I am gifted/cursed with a brain that explodes with pretty decent ideas on a regular basis, and my real challenge is filtering things down to the achievable ones and focusing on them.

Most of what I’m about to say would be different if my ventures were well-capitalized, but like many of us, my business is about 80% sweat equity at the moment. So the problem arises when I take one of my product ideas and walk it through the logical steps. I’m going to reference some basic items here that you may have to work through to roll out a product. They may overlap, they may not ALL be necessary as discrete steps, but they all are necessary in ONE way or another. And the list is by no means all-inclusive:

Creating the Product:

Ideation & Conceptualization
Prototyping/Designing/Outlining
Sourcing Services/Materials
Package Design
Setting up production

Taking it to Market:

Identifying place in market
Marketing
Sales
Advertising

Okay, that’s already a lot of stuff. I’m lucky in a way, in that I have the skills and knowledge to execute almost all of those tasks. But that can also quickly devour me. Walking a single product or service through this is not rocket science, it’s just work and persistence. But what if it’s necessary to create two or three products at the same time? Or if – as is often the case these days – the product is sort of a marketing piece in itself, and is interdependent with other products, services, or marketing strategies that have to be rolled out at the same time? Like social media, websites, seminars, and an actual retail product? Where do the product and business end, and the marketing and sales begin?

This is where I personally got derailed recently; as well as trying to wrap up some other projects, I was creating a book with Nick. After completing the writing and distribution arrangements for the book, we got so focused on marketing the thing that we kind of forgot that it wasn’t our magnum opus, or even a “core product”. It was originally meant to be a vehicle for building out our production and sales channels, and creating a standard product development process. In this case for a book. It should be simple – write the book, find a way to publish and distribute it (we did, it’s on Amazon now), and then do some promotion. But several things then came into play. They can be summarized with a just a few concepts:

Robot-Brained Marketing Strategies

Be thorough, but use some common sense or simple analysis before you roll out that multi-platform marketing campaign! Just because we have hundreds of marketing channels at our disposal doesn’t mean we have to utilize them ALL. There’s a strong tendency at present to put a lot of effort into “social”, i.e. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, etc. Facebook in particular is a possible paper tiger and time-sink rolled into one. Yes, there are a HALF BILLION USERS. But how can you really connect? Sharing in your own network? Maybe, but that’s likely to come across as spam. Advertising? Sure. So you place an ad. It better have lots of cha though, or you’re wasting your time. And assuming you DO get users to click, where do you take them? To a page to buy a product? Why would they do THAT? Is it remarkably unique? Is it REALLY CHEAP? Is there some other reward? I’m focusing on Facebook here, because it’s still so popular right now, but I could do the same with any channel that one might think is of value as a marketing tool. CHOOSE YOUR CHANNELS INTELLIGENTLY.

There are 168 Hours in a Week

I learned that with my very first business, a small 24/7 telecom company. Most people sleep at least 56 of those hours. That leaves 116. Subtract about 21 hours for eating-related activities, and you have 91 left. If all you want to do with your life is eat, sleep, and work (like me, apparently) then you’re all set. But seriously. When do you plan to execute all these crazy marketing ideas? Assuming you already have a product, how long does it take to create a good campaign, with decent images and copy? How long does it take to actually place the ads? If the marketing ideas are meant to generate user-engagement, how much of that can be fully automated? Do you have time for the parts that can’t if you get a good conversion rate? Have you scripted all the nice responses for your registration thank you emails? After you’ve laid out all these plans and executed them, ask yourself – could you have sold more copies of your book by standing on a street corner for the same amount of time? BE REAL ABOUT TIME AND USE IT WELL.

Are You Happy?

Oh yeah. Isn’t that why we started a business in the first place? Of course, there’s that whole “making money” thing, but let’s face it. Unless you’re fueling a business with outside capital (an entirely different game) you’d probably make a lot more money with a high-paying job than by starting your own business. So you might as well be ENJOYING things, right? And that, to me, is the number one priority. It’s just that my passion for keeping things moving, doing things in the smartest way possible, and being as thorough as possible can all work at cross purposes. If you ever find yourself in the same boat, step back and ask yourself some reasonable questions:

Am I doing too many things at once?
If so, thin things out, and extend deadlines if necessary. Give things the attention they deserve.

Who made these deadlines, anyway?
Oh yeah. That was me. And I’m a FREAK. Let’s just revise those a bit when needed!

Is this task even in the right bucket?
Don’t confuse advertising with marketing, or marketing with sales, even though they overlap.
Don’t confuse website development with product development. Unless of course the website IS the product.

Am I thinking like a businessperson?
This gets me a LOT. I love some of the creative work I do so much that I often forget that time equals money.

Can I outsource this?
Just because you have the skills to do something doesn’t mean you’re the best person to do it.
Could someone do it just as well, and a lot faster?
Can you AFFORD to outsource it? If you’re not prepared to pay to have it done, ponder its value in the first place.

Are you enjoying your work?
Because no-one is MAKING you do it.
Take a break and hit a lot of reset buttons if you need to.
Get back to the things that launched you on the journey in the first place.

When you find the right path, you’ll know it, because success, happiness, and wealth will simply be happening.

One of the first things we learn in Self Employment 101 or our Small Business Independent Studies class is that we have to have something that makes us unique. This is variously referred to using terms like “USP” – if you’re attending a small business course in 1965 – or a “market differentiator” – if you like lots of syllables and corporate speak. Not that those two terms are actually interchangeable, but the thrust of both is that in order for your business to succeed, you’ll need to understand its place and the market, and find ways to cash in on its uniqueness.

So does your business have some unique quality that sets it apart from all others? Sit down and breathe calmly before you read the next two words. Probably not. If you look at government statistics like these, you will quickly realize that until you get into the  realm of companies that have over a hundred employees, there are half a million or more other small businesses out there. Of course, they’re not all in your niche, but unless you have some unique skill like blacksmithing or horse-whispering, you can rest assured that there are plenty of other people doing what you’re doing. Especially if you’re in a service-based business, which makes up about 40% of all small businesses in the US, followed by retail at 20% and construction at about 10%.

So with over 20 million small businesses active in the US, the odds that yours has something remarkably unique about it are pretty slim. So are you feeling a little less special now? Don’t. While it’s largely true that your business is probably not terribly unique, maybe you’re lucky enough to be in a specialized niche that IS unique. But more importantly, as a small business owner, maybe you need to ponder the fact that your greatest differentiator really is YOU. There are a lot of examples of how the personality of the owner leaves its mark on the customer appeal and overall success of even the hugest of corporations. There’s probably an example where you live of this type of company on the medium-sized enterprise level. In my area, the supermarket Busch’s is an example of a growing chain that has a hands-on CEO/owner, and the world-renowned Zingerman’s would be another another example of a booming corporation where the owners have infused the entire organization with their unique commitment to an elevated level of quality and service. And this can scale up too; try to imagine Apple without Steve Jobs, or Amazon without Jeff Bezos.

My associate Nick has been torturing me with this idea for a while now, first by turning me on to the book Good to Great by Jim Collins. This book was a head-turner for me, and got me started on a tough question that has been helping me re-shape almost everything I’m doing. That first question for me was: Of all the things I do, could I be best in the world at any of them? I’m still not sure I know the answer yet, but the question helped me examine a few projects that I was enthused about, but to which I hadn’t applied any rigorous and purposeful assessment in terms of their long-term meaning to me, or likelihood of exceptional success. Being a self-directed free thinker, often the simple fact that I want to do something is good enough for me. But also being a persistent “I can do everything!” kind of person, I end up mired in endless work, by working on too many projects that may in fact never reach that special level of success I’m seeking. More recently, Nick shared a question from a worksheet he’d been asked to complete at a seminar, which was “what makes your business remarkable”. I joked that it must be a nice gig going around asking people uncomfortable questions like that, but the question is powerful in itself.

So if – like me – you’re spinning your wheels on too many projects and looking for a way to narrow your scope and sharpen your focus, try asking those two questions:

What thing do I do that I could be the BEST IN THE WORLD at?

What makes me or my business idea REMARKABLE?

These questions don’t necessarily have pat answers, and the answer may have more to do with you than your business, which is merely an expression of you. But I hope the process of trying to answer the question is as helpful to you as it was to me. I’ll share the actual results of my exploration of these questions soon; for now I think I have some pruning to do.

I definitely found myself coming off the rails a bit this week, and strangely, I’m glad I did. It was a great reminder of the things that mostly keep me centered, and a reminder that a certain balanced diligence is required to lead a happy rewarding life. So what had me all in a tizzy? It turns out it was the same thing that is probably at the root of almost all uneasiness, anger, or other unbalanced states. Things weren’t going my way. It started a week ago with some interpersonal challenges related to projects I’m working on, and then I worked all weekend, and things started snowballing at the beginning of the week with a series of  rescheduled meetings and missed deadlines. By Wednesday morning, I was officially a mental trainwreck.

So what did I do to get “normal” again? I remembered a short list of things that that will always get me back on track. A few of them are questions that will just give me perspective, and a few are reminders that keep me going daily. But before I do any of them, there’s one other thing I do.

Breathe.

It’s amazing how often we forget to do that, and sometimes just pausing, taking a few normal breaths will make all the difference in the world. Stand up to do it if you can. Roll your neck a little. Let your shoulders hang. Then breathe again. When you feel more calm and centered, try asking yourself a few questions:

Do I need a break?
Am I eating well?
Did I sleep okay last night?
Can I really control this?

A lot of the most driven people I know simply forget to stop working or forget to eat, or work too late and end up short on sleep. If you’ve done any of these things, TAKE A DAY OFF for cryin’ out loud. In spite of your irrational belief that the world will shudder to a halt if you do, we’re sorry to say it won’t. Get a good night’s sleep, get your routine in order. Eating, sleeping, and physical activity should come naturally, but get derailed a lot in modern life. And the control part? Chances are, you have little or no control over half of the things you’re worked up about, and instead of focusing on how the world around you needs to change, you probably need to think about how YOU need to change to accept it, so you can be happier in it. What helps me personally do that is part pragmatism, and part prayer. Below is what I do to clear my plate a little so I know what to expend my energy on. I’ll leave you to your own devices in the prayer department if you’re so inclined.

Make a List. Duh.

Many of us are so used to making our own kinds of lists to stay organized that we may forget that there’s more than one way to make a list. One of my tools in times of duress is recommended in varying forms by a multitude of success and motivation gurus, and takes two simple steps:

First, just spew out a list of all the stuff that seems to be on your mind, without prioritizing. Try to let stuff just pop into your mind, and onto the paper without analyzing its importance.

Second, go through the list, and use whatever you prefer – numbers, asterisks, whatever – to sort the items into three basic categories:

1.) Things that could be taken care of in the next hour. Phone calls or emails you’ve put off, taking out the trash, whatever.
2.) Things that could be done TODAY. A trip to the store or the post office, a task that takes a few hours, etc.
3.) Things that won’t get done today, and require some planning and organizing. You can transfer those to a to-do list later.

Third, do all those little things! And when you’re done with the little things, tackle those “today” tasks. The simple act of making the list may actually make you feel more stressed than before you made it, but you’ll be amazed at how much more at ease you are after notching off a few trivial tasks. Then you’ll be more willing to relax a little, and that’s when your mind does its best work – when it is naturally processing information unfettered by a flurry of trivial tasks.

Feel better yet? I do.

I think I’ll take a day off.

This got me thinking about what I’m doing, and reminded me to have some clearer goals. It’s sort of burned into our brains in western culture that being a millionaire is a desirable goal. But is it? Or is it likely that you’ll ever be one? The information in this Deloitte Development summary suggests that globally, your chances of becoming a millionaire are about one half of one percent. If you want to make that sound a little more like it’s likely, that’s a 1 in 181 chance! Next time you’re surrounded by 200 people, look for the millionaire. But what will a million dollars buy you? Well, about 60,000 pizzas. Or an Aston Martin Vanquish and a Ferrari F430. Or a closet-like apartment in Manhattan. Frankly it’s not that much money these days, unless all you want is a lot of pizzas.

Amongst my friends, I find a comparable ratio of happiness amongst the affluent ones when compared to the not-affluent ones. In my experience, wealth really doesn’t guarantee a person will be genuinely happy. Personally, it was a strange realization over the last few years that my real desires aren’t based on “being wealthy”, but will require some wealth generation to achieve. Give me a piece of land that I’m not in debt for (and I’ve avoided the homeowner debt monster by the way), and some good friends, and some time to do things I enjoy, and I’m good to go.

But back to the “too many ideas” thing. My point will all these meandering thoughts is this: if your plan for success is simply to make a certain amount of money, there’s a good chance you’re going to fail all around. This isn’t breaking news or anything, but it’s easy to lose sight of, and why I’m glad I took a look at my values about why I want to generate a bigger revenue stream in my life. If you finally buy that multimillion dollar home, who is the person that’s going to be living there, and what will they DO in it?

It seems like almost every book on self-development suggests that you take control of your inner dialogue – that stream of self-talk generated by your brain. You comment to yourself on almost everything, and virtually everybody I’ve had a conversation with about it says that the self-talk is mostly negative. There are some serious problem with that: (1) it colors your view of existence and often blinds you from noticing all wonders of life surrounding you; (2) the self-talk often comes out in the form of “other-talk” – the things you say to people often sound like the things you say to yourself and you aren’t always much fun to talk to; and (3) negative self-talk seems to take the form of “I can’t” way too much of the time – leading you to pass up opportunities for accomplishment that people with positive self-talk would likely take on.

About 3 years ago I decided to take the advice offered by many of these personal development authors and actually try to change my self talk. I tried two approaches. The first was to learn to stop it. That’s more or less what Zen disciples try to do, and I find it VERY difficult. Sometimes during meditation I can live in the space between the thoughts for a while, and that’s a very enjoyable feeling. But out in the real world, since I find it almost impossible to stop the dialogue, I’ve learned instead to replace it.

Instead of saying “that guy who just cut me off is an a**!” I try to say to myself, “Boy, he’s in a hurry!” Instead of saying, “So and so (somebody I’m working with) will probably screw this up,” I’ll say, “Let’s give her a try and see if she gets it done.” And probably the one thing I’ve learned to say to myself that’s made the most powerful difference, the real game changer, the thing that’s helped me get more done than ever before, and to take on new and more profound personal and business challenges, is, instead of saying, “I probably can’t do that,” I say, “I can definitely do that if I approach it the right way.”

Quitting is hard, but it can be really helpful. Ian and I wrote about it in our new book 101 Ways to Kick Your Ass Into Gear. But if you can’t quit, then you can try to replace your current habits with ones that help you become happier, more motivation, and potentially more successful!

If you write one page a day, you can have a 365-page novel by the end of 2012. But consider this: you can write one crappy page each day, or you can write one great page each day. I leave it to you to guess what kind of novel you’ll get with each approach.

In martial arts, golf, or any other physical pursuit, figuring out how to correctly do a single component of a technique and mastering it is the “one thing” you ought to focus on. Of course, if you’ve done any important physical activity, you know that it often takes longer than one day to master even a single component of your sport. But even if it takes a week, you still end up with 52 solid aspects of your chosen activity in the bank, which means your overall execution can be greatly improved in one year.

In business, choosing one aspect of your marketing, client relations, efficiency, or cash flow to focus on at a time, and making sure you not only understand it, but have put into place a system for carrying it out, will ensure your continued success. You can maintain a business or limp along during good economic times without this approach, but when the economy struggles, those competitors who are getting one thing right each day will quickly put you out of business.

One caveat: most single aspects of any activity require maintenance even after you’ve “mastered” them. So you might want to build in to your plans not only some time to focus on your “one thing,” but also some time to review the last “thing” each day. Eventually you’ll create some kind of routine that lets you review, refine, and master the essential aspects of your chosen mission, and you’ll rocket towards success!

The Episcopal priest Joseph Fletcher developed a theory called “situational ethics.” Basically, he taught that to serve the ultimate law, that of “love thy neighbor,” some flexibility in one’s ethics was acceptable. It’s probably true that, within certain limits, we should forgive ourselves our minor trespasses as long as we are striving for a worthy goal.

Where this kind of ethics goes wrong is when it becomes a driving principle rather than a way to recognize the inherently imperfect nature of human existence. “Hey,” you say, “I’m not going to try very hard to do the right thing because, after all, I’m basically a good person.” The problem with this kind of thinking is that it leads to a progressively more slipshod and uninspired view of life.

I think that if a personal credo is going to allow for errors, it should be very focused on what is actually right and good, and avoid building in excuses for behavior that lacks integrity. If you strive for great success, strive also for great compassion. If you desire riches, accept great responsibility. If you wish for happiness, learn how to bring happiness to others. Start with integrity, and build from there.

One way to look at diet is that eating for pleasure leads to lethargy, and eating tactically can lead to positive changes. If you’re struggling with motivation and depression, and you’ve eliminated any serious psychological or health problems as possible causes, consider trying this kind of eating for a week, and let us know what you think. Please consult a doctor before beginning any new dietary regimen. There are only 6 rules:

1. Eat more frequent, smaller meals, always including a little protein

2. Eat ample green vegetable with every meal (including breakfast!)

3. Drink at least 8 ounces of water every hour

4. Eat NO simple carbs (like sugar or processed flour)

5. Eat a wide variety of foods (fish, poultry, venison/vegetables/nuts/fruit), but not too much of any single food at a sitting

6. Cut out the alcohol and cut down the caffeine

Many of the “fat burning diets” take a similar approach, and if you’re inclined to follow a diet with a brand name, be our guest. In any case, pay attention to your energy level, your mood, and your productivity, and let us know if you notice any positive changes. We think you will!